The Art of Connection – Insights on Nonviolent Communication

Here are a few of my insights from Nonviolent Communication by Marshall Rosenberg. Or as I call it: the Art of Connection.
Slow down to Notice the difference between observations vs. judgments, demands and requests, needs and feelings.

PROCESS

1. Track how your body is feeling now.
2. Track the feelings in your body and being.
3. Identify and unravel the needs at the source of the feelings.
4. Are they met or unmet needs?
5. Have empathy for unmet needs in yourself and the others.
6. You can mine your unmet needs to penetrate deeper into understanding how and why you feel the way you do.  The ability to access the real essence of how you feel and what your needs and joys are helps reveal important keys to understanding yourself and others better.
7. Sit with the genuine beauty of that unmet need, and what it reveals to you.
8. How does that need feel when it is met? To bring your needs into greater clarity, include perspectives from all five or more senses.  What are you hearing when this need is met? What are you seeing, touching, tasting, smelling.  Example: comments from colleagues, “I learned so much from listening to her presentation! She was awesome.” Or “Did you see how gracefully she maneuvered that sticky situation?” etc.
9. First, before you make the request for change, name the unmet need that will be fulfilled by the request. This creates rapport and deeper connection and understanding of why it is important.
10. After revealing the need that can be satisfied by the request, or sharing why/ how it is important to you, make the request for change.
11. Be patient.
12. Celebrate a few of your met needs and acknowledge what is working.
13. Find  GRATITUDE and listen carefully.